It seems nearly every time a guest is interviewed by a TV host from CBC, CNN, etc., the guest will say, “Thanks for having me.” This response seems to have caught on, yet it doesn’t exactly make sense, certainly not a phrase to use in the business world.
It reminded me of when I lived in Wasaga Beach and I heard mention of a popular and young woman of the cloth, who was the Pastor at a local church. “Reverend Deb” as she was affectionately called, was one of those rare individuals who could disarmingly cut through all the stuff that clouded an issue and get to the heart of the matter in minutes. She was also attractive and single, which didn’t hurt. Those that had met with her said they couldn’t resist warming up to her in no time.
I made an appointment to meet. As well seeking some advice, I was hoping to discover the secret of her magnetism that so many had mentioned. When we finally met, she charmed the socks off of me in no time. Later in the talk, she asked if I would consider helping with some work around the church. I wanted to shout ‘When?”
I could have been putty in her hands. Then, I remembered what we were meeting for. “I’ve been asked to be a volunteer for a local youth group,” I said, “and I would appreciate your insight on how best to show them leadership”. Thank goodness Rev Deb did not restrict her work to only the church scene or I wouldn’t be here talking with her.
She considered my question for a moment before giving a totally unexpected answer: “Mostly talk to them about being thankful for what they have. Tell them to phone home and thank their parents for their sacrifice in helping them reach this phase. Teach them to thank everyone they meet like schoolteachers, the bus driver, and so on.” Then she dropped the final bomb. The heart of her statement was this: “A person’s ‘sense of entitlement’ is the greatest blocker to real progress and gratitude.”
There I sat, looking for some hidden key to be able motivate the youth group and her answer was basically to teach the kids to say thank you! However, our meeting was a memorable experience; partly because of my awe of her but more because of the profound simplicity of how she spoke.
Afterwards and oftentimes since that notable conversation, I’ve become increasingly convinced that Rev Deb was right on the mark. Her prescription is desperately needed, not just for kids but for our society at large. A sense of entitlement – meaning a person who believes he or she deserves certain privileges and is arrogant about it, is the root cause of so much of what is restricting equality and harming our country today.
It impacts marriages, families, schools, workplaces, governments and even churches. The moment one begins to expect that life should go their way, the die is cast for disappointment and disillusionment. Conversely, when each positive experience is viewed as a blessing for which to be grateful, the whole tone of life is transformed.
Gratitude puts one in a posture of perpetual, pleasant surprises. It sees opportunities and blessings as privileges to embrace and appreciate rather than as an entitlement to be expected. Few things have a bigger impact on the total life outlook than that.
It turned out that more than once I did volunteer to help at Deb’s church. On those occasions when she was also there, we had deep conversations that were so meaningful. Even after I moved from the Valley, my sister would tease me about being in love with her. It wasn’t true of course – I think! Anyway, she married her high school sweetheart and it is what it is.
And that brings me right back to Reverend Deb. If I would ever run across her again, I would say “Thanks for having me.” Her remarkable words made me realize that I am no better nor worse than other person. If there had been a demonstration against racism in our area, I would have been there and “taken a knee”.
