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Shopping Therapy!

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A typical Friday afternoon and out for a run-of-the-mill shopping spree at the W/M store. As usual the parking lot was typically like a prison with all cells full – nothing at all close to the entrance. It was beginning to give me a headache as it wasn’t where I wanted to be anyway. The day was pleasant though – no rain and not too cold, but I still like to curtail my steps where I can, thus kept canvassing the middle rows until I hit pay dirt. I finally spotted an empty spot between two fancy SUV’s that suddenly freed up, so I raced to it before anyone else had the same idea  – not too far to walk either. I couldn’t help noticing how the bigger cars made mine seem smaller and more diminished than it already was. I should have been thriftier in my life and bought an SUV – which I really preferred.

 Once inside, I grabbed a cart to head toward cosmetics. It had to have something there to spruce up my appearance, the weekend only hours away. As I turned the corner the buggy got caught on the foot of a life-size skeleton, placed there for a Halloween display. As the skeleton’s head swivelled and careened out of position because of the jolt from my cart, suddenly its upper torso was leaning directly towards me. I shouted in horror before I realized what it was, a mistaken identity.

I was embarrassed a little until I reached the meat section. There, while coming across another cart with a woman pushing it, she stopped dead saying, “I know you from somewhere.” I didn’t recognize her at all. We were both frozen in our in our tracks by this time. I didn’t know what was coming until she said, “Whitewater News. You’re Bob what’s his face. I read your columns.” I asked for her name but she suavely declined saying, “I don’t want my name spread all over the place.”

Being a little vain, I did feel enthralled after the recognition with a chance encounter – of someone I’d never seen before. In my unexpected euphoria I picked up a prime rib roast which wasn’t even on my list. Still reeling with the effect, I entered the fruit and vegetable area next. A few aisles away, I witnessed an elderly man nearly upending a weigh scale after running his misguided buggy into it. Not only because of his gracelessness but my own as well with the skeleton, I laughed my head off.

Finished shopping I got into a long lineup waiting to check out. Just then a lady came along clinging to 5 boxes of biscuits. She wanted in front of me to catch up with her husband. I backed up and then she started fumbling the boxes. Two fell, she got them then two more fell. Finally she was able to stash them into the husband’s buggy. I said amusingly, “You aren’t much a juggler are you?” She laughed but her very tall husband just glared down at me. Minutes later as their order was being completed I just couldn’t resist. I held up the lemon pie I was buying, caught her attention and said, “Imagine if it was these you were juggling?” This time both gave me a cold glare.

Finally it was my turn at the checkout. The clerk was one I had encountered a few weeks before and I remembered her telling me about her cats. So, I asked what she fed them. She got into a dreadful story about one that got abnormally so big and fat but didn’t eat much so she took it to the Veterinarian. It was a serious enough problem internally that it required surgery right away. The cat made it through the operation and was now back home. She continued to say, “Our two cats are our family instead of having children.” To each her own I guess! Apparently her mother considers them grandcats and sends the grandcats presents for their birthday and for Christmas.

While putting my groceries into the car, I felt that today’s shopping went better than I thought it would. That is until I got home. I had forgotten to pick up three items, all which were on the list still unread, in my back pocket.

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